Why do we only get ONE day??

This blog was originally published on 5-1-2007

Mother's Day is approaching and I get the usual question of "What do you want for Mother's Day?" My answer this year is "A day to myself!" I had a hard time with that as like most moms, the guilt creeps in. This year, the guilt is being left outside the front door. Those of you with family health issues know that it can take its toll on you physically, mentally and spiritually. As the caregiver, we spend our time focusing even more on the person with the health issue. With my husband's health challenge this year, I have decided that I really need a day to myself to do whatever I please. I haven't decided yet, but I might get a massage, have a quiet lunch by myself, read a book, just sit in the sun and maybe even take a nap!!! I need to re-energize and focus on me for the day. I am actually a little giddy thinking about it. I just don't know what I should do as I don't get this opportunity very often. I love my family very much and enjoy spending time with them whenever I get the chance but I also recognize the need to have time to myself and not have to be "mom" or "wife". I am looking forward to a fun and relaxing day to myself and then coming back to my family rejuvenated.
Teresa

Red light, green light - is this really best for kids?

This blog was originally published on 4-14-2007

The end of another busy week and also another disappointing Friday for my 6 year old. When did schools start rating kindergartener's on their behavior for the day? I don't remember getting a red, yellow or green light every day based on if I sat still and didn't do anything that interrupted the class. I certainly understand the need to try to control a class of little ones so you can attempt to teach them something that day, but is giving a child a red light because they just can't stop giggling and wiggling during reading time really the best option.

My 6 year old son, Greyson, has had one, yes only one, week of all green light days. The only way he gets a treasure from his teacher at the end of the week is if every day that week is a green light. As the mother of a very active and healthy 6 year old, a week of perfect behavior with no messing around, laughing or talking at the incorrect time is like trying to control the weather. My son cries almost every Friday because he thinks he is a bad kid because he did not get green every day and didn't get treasure box. I spend every Friday afternoon explaining to him that yellow or red does not mean he is a bad kid and we have had to create our own treasure box. It concerns me that schools are setting up some of these kids to feel like failures before they even get into first grade. I would personally rather have a happy, independent, energetic child than one who suppresses their personality so they don't get reprimanded.

I am looking forward to the summer where he doesn't have to worry about having a green light every day. He can just be an active, rambunctious, happy 6 year old! Teresa

Choosing to be happy in the face of difficult odds

This blog was originally published on 4-1-2007

These last few months have been a whirlwind. My husband, Joe, was recently diagnosed with Hodgkins Lymphoma so I have been immersed in traveling to the center every two weeks, getting the treatments, taking medications, learning about Hodgkins, and doing what I can to get him healthly while still taking care of all the other family and household needs.

People ask me how I do it and how I stay so positive. My answer is simple. I wake up every morning and get to choose how I am going to feel today. I choose to focus on all the wonderful things in my life and on Joe's complete healing.

Events may happen to us that seem out of our control but we can always choose how we want to react to them. As my husband's treatments come to a close and we head off to have him re-tested so we can see his progress, I focus on his healing and know that he is getting closer to being 100% healthy again.

We are looking forward to putting this in our past and focusing on our future.

Try something new!

This blog was originall published on 2/29/2008

Starting in February, I made an agreement with myself to try something new every month. It doesn�t have to be something big just something new. It can be taking a new route on my walk, trying a new restaurant, taking a lesson, changing up a weekly routine or doing a new form of exercise. This month I tried rock climbing at a local rock climbing gym and it was great! I didn�t get very far up the rock wall but just the anticipation of climbing and being nervous was really fun! Often times as moms, we get so caught up in our routines that we don�t experience the thrill of something new or getting those butterflies in our stomach (from a good thing). I was missing the anticipation of trying something I wasn�t familiar with and conquering it! I was nervous and actually got a little nausea at first but was determined to try it and now it is a goal of mine to get to the top. I am going to keep going to the rock climbing gym as it is a great workout, a new challenge and something we can even do as a family. My 7 year old son loves it. I encourage you to try something new each month and experience again the feeling of butterflies in your stomach. It makes you feel young again!
Teresa

I did it! I took a "me" day!

This blog was originally published on 6/26/2007

I did it! I took a "me" day! A few girlfriends and myself actually booked a hotel room, right here in town, for us to have a girls night. It wasn't easy leaving. I had to make sure my husband knew my son's schedule for the next 24 hours, write checks for camp and karate, water the plants, make sure there was food for lunch and dinner, wash clothes so my son had his favorite shirt for Fun Friday and pack my own bag.

I picked up one of the girls whose son was in tears because mommy was leaving for the night. After she assured him daddy could take care of him, we were off to the hotel. Thirty minutes later we were checked in and headed down to the pool where we had drinks and lunch (served by someone else)! They had those little flags on the chairs so if you needed anything, you just put your flag up. I wondered if the flags would work at home.

We spent a glorious afternoon at the pool just relaxing and being waited on by others. We finally dragged ourselves from the pool to get ready for a nice dinner out. We enjoyed a relaxing, calm and adult conversation dinner. No bickering, no spilled drinks and no cleaning up the dishes! It was fabulous. We went back to our hotel room where we sat out on the balcony and drank wine, laughed, talked about our families and wondered why it took us so long to do this.

Finally, off to bed for a night of uninterrupted sleep and getting to sleep in (that alone was worth the cost of the room). In the morning we had a leisurely breakfast (again served by someone else) and took our time before we headed for home.

I admit I had to work through a little bit of guilt but got over it quickly once I was floating in the pool with a Pina Colada. We decided this was the first of many mini breaks we are going to commit to taking every year for our sake as well as the sake of our families. I came back refreshed and happy to see my family. Teresa

Aren't we ALL "working moms" - and who came up with these titles anyway???

This blog was originally published on 5/12/2007

The phrases "stay at home mom" and "working mom" really bug me. After all, aren't all us moms working? It really is just a matter of how many jobs we have. To me the implication is that if you are a mother who is not working at a job outside your home and family, then you are not actually working! Ha! Excuse me? It's right up there with the phrase "working class". Implying if one doesn't fall into a certain income bracket, designated by the government, then one is not actually working for their income. What other job requires a person to be on duty 24/7 including holidays? Is it just me? Not only are they grossly misleading, but they promote divisiveness.

The last thing mothers, and women in general, need is to be judgemental and unsupportive of each other's choices when it comes to caring for themselves and their families.

I repeat: all moms work. I think we need to come up with some other form of reference that doesn't make one set of moms feel, inferior, guilty, or judged by the other. Some mothers work revolves strictly around their family and home, others revolves around family, home, and an additional outside job or career. I don't believe one way is superior over the other, just different approaches. Both ways have been proven to produce happy, healthy families.

I would love to come up with some more appropriate phrases for our different categories of moms who are all working almost all the time! Loree

One of my New Year's resolutions...

One of my New Year's resolutions this year was to balance my time better between myself, my husband, and my family. And I must admit it's going well. So when my husband said he needed to be in New Orleans on business tied in with Mardi Gras and asked me to go with him I said sure! It began as a 4 day trip (perfect), but then he thought it would be a good idea to tack on a couple extra days after business was over to just hang out and relax. Hmm, ok, 6 days now (you sense my hesitance don't you). When you factor in the recovery time one needs upon returning home from 6 days in New Orleans over Mardi Gras you�re now up to about 9 days off. So much for balance. Anyway...

It was my first Mardi Gras and, well, all I can say is OH MY! Who knew? I thought it was all about party-crazed people drinking in the streets and flashing for plastic beads (a curious tradition). Well actually, that is a big part of it, but all kidding aside, the attraction to Mardi Gras is a much bigger deal than I would have ever guessed. There is a parade every day for 2 weeks (this is a long celebration) and two of those parades have a celebrity monarch every year. This year Hulk Hogan (who doesn't love this guy?) reigned as the King of Bacchus and Kevin Costner (yeah, he doesn't suck either) as the king of Endymion. Families stake out and camp in their places on the streets days beforehand to watch these parades. It's a huge event and generates tons of much needed funds for the city.

The festivities were all really fun of course, but the biggest impression was made when we toured the areas devastated by Katrina. It's one thing to see it on TV, but driving through it and seeing all the families still living in tents on the side of the road has an entirely different impact on a person. The leak in my roof that I needed to attend to when I got home no longer seemed like such an overwhelming task. Nor did the rest of my to-do list that I knew was growing by the hour as I was enjoying my 6 days in Cajun country. (As I expected, on the 4th day hubby says, what was I thinking? We probably should've gone home today.)

On the plane heading home I didn't think about what I had to do when I got there, but instead I basked in the glow of what I got to experience in New Orleans and reflected once again on all I have to be grateful for . Then I fell asleep! Mardi Gras is exhausting. Loree