What is Bored?

I honestly don't remember the last time I was bored. My son says it and my husband says it once in a while and I just look at them and wonder "How can you be bored?" How can anyone be bored in this day and age? Every once in a while I daydream about being bored. What would that be like to not have anything to do? Obviously if you are a mom, you have not been bored since the day your kids were born. Wouldn't it be nice to be bored? That would mean you could take a nap or just sit and read or take a nice long walk. I have to consciously set time aside to do something for myself or I would be going 24/7. I never run out of things to do or places to go or tasks that need to be handled. It would be nice to run out of things to do and suddenly say "I'm bored!" I don't think I will ever be bored. I treasure those times when I am able to just sit and do nothing. At these times I am far from being bored. I am busy soaking up the peace and quiet or letting myself re-energize. I have pretty much cured my family of saying "I'm bored" as they are now assigned a task when I hear them say it. They have learned that "bored" is like a bell going off for me signaling someone needs something to do. I am always more than happy to help someone from being bored.

Can I Just Go To The Bathroom?

Why is it that your family suddenly needs you when you are either on the phone, in the bathroom or trying to take a nice quiet bath? It is like they have radar that says "oh, mom is trying to do something that doesn't include us!" Like today, for example, I am literally just sitting down to go to the bathroom when my husband's phone rings. He yells up the stairs "Honey, do you have Tami's phone number?" "Yes", I yell back. Silence for about 10 seconds and then "Can you give me her number?" "Just give me a minute, I am in the bathroom" I answer back. Silence for a couple of more seconds and then "Where do you have her number?" I tell him it is on my cell phone. "Where's your cell phone?" "In my purse", I say. "Where's your purse?" he hollers. At this point I am thinking "Are you kidding me?" I just need one minute to go to the bathroom and I can't even do that in peace. He seems to be able to convey from my silence that I am not enjoying the hollering up and down the stairs from the bathroom so he says "Never mind, I will find it." After a less than relaxing minute in the bathroom, I come downstairs to check on the status of the phone number search. He seems to have found the phone number and is in deep conversation on the phone. All I can do at this point is laugh as I replay this little exchange in my head. Could it really not have waited for 2 minutes until I came out of the bathroom? The price we pay for our "I want it now" syndrome.

Home Office Stress

I have been working from a home office for quite a few years now. I forget how challenging it can be when one first starts working from home. Every once in a while I talk with someone who has just started working from home and finding it very difficult. It is especially difficult if you left a corporate job where you were surrounded by colleagues all the time. You started at a certain time, had breaks at specified times, went to lunch with friends and left the office at a certain to go home. Now suddenly you don't even have to get dressed to go to work. The schedule change and the lack of interaction with other employees can be very hard on some people. I transitioned a little easier than most because I had a corporate job with irregular hours and I traveled a lot so I was not the office on a regular basis. Even so, my biggest hurdle when I started working from home was ending work at a reasonable hour every day. I felt I had to keep working as I now had my own business and needed to work longer hours to make it a success. I eventually hired a business coach to help me as I was exhausted and starting to resent my home office. I couldn't leave the office and go home! My coach was a life saver and gave me some great tools to regain some control over my time again. The first and most important tool was to stick to a scheduled start time and end time as much as possible. The second tool that worked for me was making a short list at the end of the day of the items I didn't get to but will work on tomorrow. Everything isn't always going to get done everyday and that was hard for me to accept. I also had to leave my desk for lunch and at least once a week go out for lunch, even if it was by myself. I found out how important it was for me to get out and change the scenery around me. Years later I still use these tools and enjoy working from my home office. I would be hard pressed to go back to a corporate nine to five career. I truly enjoy the freedom of my home office.

Dinner or a Hot Poker in the Eye?

What's for dinner? I don't know if I would rather be poked in the eye with a hot stick or just repeatedly bang my head against the wall but I would take either one over the daily question of "what's for dinner?" My dream is to have a chef make dinner for me every night. I look forward to the nights when my husband is not home because it means we can just eat mac-n-cheese or even cereal for dinner. The daily ritual of figuring out what to make for dinner, setting the table, cooking and then cleaning up is akin to slow torture. Sure there are times I don't mind making dinner but the fact that it has to be done 24/7 is enough to make one, well, poke themselves in the eye with a hot poker! Maybe the problem is that there are only so many things I am willing to serve my family. I try to serve my family healthy, organic food which means most things I buy are fresh so I have to shop every couple of days, another fun chore. I don't remember being told when I got married and had children that I would be in charge of dinner every day for the rest of my life! This little bit of information should be passed down from generation to generation ahead of time so one can prepare for this task or decide to stay single to avoid this albatross. To all those who are single women or know single women, please take heed or warn them of their future should they decide to get married and have a family!

How Much Art Can One Child Create?

It is amazing how many art projects one child can do. Almost everyday he comes home with something he has created. Being a good mom, I can't just throw it away so I add it to the bin downstairs with all his other projects. I would look at this overflowing bin every once in a while and wonder how I was going to decide which projects to throw away as we can't keep everything. We would have a bin for every school year, 13 including kindergarten, if we kept everything. I finally came up with a great solution. I pulled out the bins and sat down with my son. I simply told him it was time to go through all of his projects and decide which ones he wanted to keep and which ones we could throw away. To my surprise, he did a great job going through everything and decided to keep about half. Then I went through the ones he wanted to throw away and pulled out a couple that I really liked and wanted to keep. It took us a good hour to go through last year's projects but we had a lot of fun. We talked about the different projects and how he made them. I would then ask him why he wanted to keep the projects he put in the "keep" pile. It made for brilliant and interesting conversation. It never ceases to amaze me how their minds work. I was very happy with the outcome of our "art project cleanup" as I not only was able to throw out projects guilt free but I also spent a wonderful hour with my son. It will be an annual ritual in our family.

Are Simple Manners a Thing of the Past?

Why is good service so rare these days? In our world of competition, service is often the only way a business can differentiate themselves from the pack. Even so, it is so common to receive mediocre service. It seems today that if you simply utilize the basics of common courtesy people are surprised. Returning a phone call, saying "hello" to a customer when they walk in the door, having eye contact when you are talking to a customer, being polite and being honest are a few basics that are not the norm these days. My favorite though is in a restaurant when they are busy - you are standing at the door and employees keep walking by but no one acknowledges that you are even there! It would be nice to get a simple "Someone will be right with you". How hard is that? I can write a novel on the lack of basic manners in general. I can't even tell you how many times my son, who is 7, has held the door open for someone and they don't say "thank you" or even seem to know he is there. There are also times when someone bumps into you or you come around the corner at the same time and almost run into each other - a simple "excuse me" would be nice (that's what I say) but instead people seem to be irritated and rude. Have we reached a point where simple kindness is the exception rather than the rule? I choose to believe there is still hope and will continue to teach my son basic manners and to treat all people with respect. I teach him to be an example, not a warning. We are all busy these days but a "please", "thank you", "excuse me" or "may I help you?" can make a difference in someone's busy day.

Dogs or Kids?

Sometimes I wonder if just having pets would have been the way to go. They don't talk back, they are always happy when you come home (no matter how long you have been gone), they are happy with any type of food and they don't even wear clothes! Oi vey, why is it the smallest people on this earth can get the biggest reaction out of you? My pet peeve is not listening to me the first time I ask them to do something. I have no patience for repeating myself, especially when I know they heard me the first time. It can be the simplest request such as "please stop doing that" and they look at you and do it one more time. What is that? Is it just to get a rise out of me or some sort of challenge? I have had enough and recently instigated a new rule in our house - The One Time Rule. This means we say something once and if the request is not immediately responded to, it is to his room he goes. If this happens three times, yes only three times, in one week, then no play dates the next week. I know children are smarter than most of us think they are and listening the first time is not too much to ask of them. I will have to keep you updated on how the new rule is going. If it doesn't work out I can always just spend more time with the dogs - at least they listen better.

Credit Card Sharks

I run a small business and like most small business owners have business credit cards. In the recent months the increase in interest has been brutal to say the least. In one month my Advanta card interest went from 7.99% to 25.08%. I called to find out why the increase happened and to try to reduce the interest and they said it was just across the board increases. I asked if the fact that I have great credit and make payments on time was taken into consideration and they said to just call back in 3 months but for now nothing could be done. As far as I am concerned this is just like loan sharking only these credit card company get to bully you in broad daylight! This is one business where government needs to step in and put a limit on the interest a credit card company can charge! What is the point of having good credit if it doesn't make any difference on how the credit card companies make decisions. I had 3 credit cards accounts with Advanta as my husband runs a business and I also am active in real estate investing and used one for that business as well. I have moved my charges from two of the Advanta accounts to our Chase card and a credit union card with acceptable interest rates. I am still working on moving the charges from the last account and when I do, I will not be using or recommending Advanta. I was happy with their services when I opened the accounts but the recent disregard for me a customer is unacceptable customer service.

A Little Family History

We just watched some of our family videos - how fun is that? There are so many little things that you forget. My son loves seeing himself when he was younger. It is fun to re-live the vacations and family visits. Watching videos is a great family activity. It gets everyone talking and laughing and re-connecting. It is better than watching T.V. Sometimes I forget how many places we have gone and all the experiences we have had. Whenever we watch home videos, my son has so many questions about when he was little. I enjoy talking about what he liked at a certain age or teaching him about the places we have traveled. There are truly some hysterical videos that make me laugh so hard I can't breathe! Watching home videos is a great way to release some stress while spending some great time with my family. If you are looking for something to do with your family pull out the old videos. Trust me, they are little treasures!

I Like Being Selfish!

As a mom, I know it is easy and common to put yourself last. When money is tight, we give something up. When we are running out of time, we don't do something for our self. When schedules conflict, we change ours. We feel as moms, it is our job to take care of everyone else first and then tend to our self. We even do this when we know it is not healthy. I am guilty of this myself. In the last year, I have decided that sometimes I need to be selfish and stop putting myself last. Yes, we go through times when money is tight but the one thing I will not give up is my once a month facial. It is not only something I do for myself but it is my time to relax and reflect on all the things I am grateful for in my life. It refreshes me, relaxes me and it is my treat to myself for being a great mom, wife, friend, sister, banker, cook, maid, chauffeur, nurse, assistant, dog walker, schedule coordinator, blah, blah, blah. Do I waiver sometimes, yes, but I am committed to doing this one thing for myself on a regular basis. If we have to go out for dinner one less time this month than fine, if my son doesn't get that new pair of tennis shoes this month than fine. I think the whole family should work together and make compromises when necessary. We all know the sacrifices we make as moms on a regular basis. I don't mind making sacrifices as long as I am not the only one doing it. Then you just become a martyr. Be good to yourself and do something special just for you once a month. It doesn't have to be something big, but commit to it. Write it in your calendar and treat it just like any other appointment. Try it for a couple of months and see how you feel!

And Here We Go

Here we go again! Holidays are coming and so is the extra weight if you are not conscious of what you are eating. I like many others am not immune to all the high calorie food that seems to show up everywhere during the holidays. Chocolate at work, cookies at home, gift baskets coming and going! How do you get away from it? Well, don't know if you can so what I do is allow myself a treat here and there and don't feel guilty about it. What I also do is a little more exercise where and when I can. I like to work out at home and have a number of different DVDs from yoga to Tae Bo, The Firm and Reebok Step. There are workouts from 30 - 60 minutes so I just choose what fits my mood and my time frame. I don't do it everyday but try for three times a week and I feel better about those extra goodies I just can't say "no" to. I also have a mini trampoline that I bounce on while I watch TV. This is a great way to do some low impact cardio and the time goes by fast because I am distracted with the TV. The kids love this one to as it is fun for them. So don't stress out and beat yourself up if you give in to your cravings now and then. Just accept it happens at this time of year and try to counterbalance with a little more exercise! Enjoy this time of year and enjoy your family and friends.

Delegate?

You would think that being a small business owner for 12 years and being a mom, I would learn to delegate more often. This seems to be the hardest thing for me to do consistently. I fall into the trap that it is just easier to do it myself or it will get done the way I want it if I just do it myself. I just hum along doing my thing and doing everybody else's stuff and then one day it is suddenly too much and everyone seems surprised. I know better, like many of us, but somehow fall back into the habit of hoarding all the work and the chores. The good news is that I am noticing sooner when I "fall of the wagon" and have less guilt in sharing the workload. As hard as it is, I have let go of the work or the chores not being done "my way". I now overlook the few things not picked up or the messy desk. It has taken me years to get to this point but the extra time it gives me to focus on things that I enjoy has been worth the journey. I just want those "non-delegators" out there to know there is hope if you just stay with it!

A Teaching Opportunity

Today is a day for all parents to be a great example to their children. One of the things I am grateful for is the opportunity to vote for our president. Did I vote today? Absolutely! My son is very interested in the presidential campaign and has many questions. My job as a parent is to answer his questions as unbiased as possible and let him think for himself. He knows who I voted for but we discuss both candidates and why they are different. He asks if people do or don't vote for the president based on their race. I tell him I hope not but that unfortunately some do vote based on his race. He asks if we will be mad if our candidate doesn't get elected president. I tell him we have the honor of placing our vote but whoever wins the race will be our new President and that we don't have to agree with everything he stands for but we do respect him and support our country by supporting him. This is a teaching opportunity for your children on so many levels. I hope you voted and I hope you recognized the chance to have some interesting conversations and learn about how your children think.

Alone is Bliss

Both my husband and I work from home. We both travel and after a while you get used to the alone time. I actually look forward to the time by myself as I seem to be able to accomplish so much more in my day. When you are able to work by yourself you start to realize the amount of interruptions that take place on a daily basis when you are working in an office with others. I can get done in 3 hours what someone else takes 6 hours to do when they are continually interrupted. I have worked for myself for 12 years and appreciate the fact that I can work from home, work when I choose and take time to be with my family when I choose. I know some people need the constant interaction with other employees but I cherish the peace and quiet of being in my office by myself. The noise and activity of a busy office can really be distracting and stressful. Working in a home office isn't for everyone. If you work from home, enjoy your alone time but also make sure you take time to meet outside your office or network so you don't become isolated. If you work in an office with others, try setting up some time in the day where you don't allow yourself to be interrupted, unless it is an emergency. Clarify what an emergency is to your counterparts as everyone's idea of an emergency is different. See how much you can really accomplish when you block out some alone time. I am more than happy to share some ideas on how to block out time for yourself in your day.

A Little Gratitude

I am sure many of you have heard of "The Secret". If you haven't read the book or watched the movie, I highly recommend it. One of the things they talk about is gratitude. They talk about taking a little time each day and focusing on what you are grateful for in your life. We all have something to be grateful for in our lives even if it doesn't feel like in sometimes. I think it is especially important to focus on these things during times of uncertainty, when you are feeling overwhelmed or stresse. I like to wake up each morning and even before I get out of bed, I take a minute to run through the blessings in my life. It starts the day out in a positive way and simply makes me feel good. I also like to do this right before I go to bed so the last thoughts in my head before I sleep are nice ones. I have also started having my son do this at night before bedtime. I just have him think of three things he is grateful for in his life. It doesn't matter if it is a toy, a fun day or if he is grateful for his family. The point is that it is creating a wonderful night time ritual that puts him in a positive state of mind right before bed time. I have noticed that the more my family focuses on what they are grateful for, the more things we have to be grateful for in our lives. Take a moment and think about what you are grateful for today!